Okay so on my last post I had promised some sex slang words and I am here to deliver.  There are some sex slang, and some other slang and phrases as well.  Hopefully this can change the pace of my Blog and really throw some humor into it.  Feel free to practice these or throw them into your daily life back in the states.

 

Slang for Vagina:  Punnanie, Puss, Pokey, Patacaka, Pum-pum and Sugar Bowl

 

Penis:  Anaconda (big), Tickla (small), Gristle, Sword, Babies Foot (also kind of small), Donkey and my favorite, Rod of Correction

 

Testicles:  Balls, Seeds, Goady and hydrocele

 

Buttocks: Beetee, Bamsie, batty.  Also if you are gay you are a batty-boy meaning butt boy

 

Breasts:  Bubby

 

Sex:  Fling Up, wuk up/out, rammin, jamming, jukin, juk, Fuck, whinings, sweetness, bump and grind, ridin, climbin de wells

 

Oral Sex Men:  Blow Job, Singing over da Mike

Oral Sex Women: Tak’n meals under the table, Polishing de door knob, Eat’n under da 2 ft table

 

Premature Ejaculation:  You break to quick

 

Pooping: Kunksie, Mess, Pass Motion

 

Diarrhea: Shittings, Operations, Loose Motions, Runnings

 

If you smell some one might say you have HBO, High Body Order or a kid may ask you, “Sir, your Perfume Done?”

 

Saying hello generally goes at follows, “Marning, Good Afternoon, Good Night (not good evening, which was confusing the first night because I wasn’t sure if people were leaving or coming but it is meant for both hello and goodbye) also, “How Ya Do?”  In which the common response is Alright, Okay of Fine, Fine.  Oh and my favorite, “Atcha!”  But it is much cooler when I get yelled at, “White Buy Atcha!”  And yes Boy is pronounced Buy or Biay here so that isn’t a typo.

 

Well I hope everybody had a good laugh, learning a different language  can be difficult be thankfully each culture has the slang/bad words that make it fun to learn!

Living/Training in Guyana

It has been one month since I abandoned all the comforts and cold weather of Alaska.  If you don’t think it is possible to miss the cold crisp nights then you are mistaken!  I am having a blast so far here in Guyana but there are definitely things I miss!  I am a very warm sleeper which for most of my life has worked to my favor.  However, here in Guyana where the temperature doesn’t drop below 70 and you have to sleep with a mosquito net at night I could really trade in my warm ability.  Here I sleep with a sheet, most of the time bundled at my toes because it is wayyyyy to warm.  Because it is so hot, I am pretty much sleeping in my underwear and thus leaving my body exposed buffet style.  The mosquitoes might be bigger in Alaska and even Michigan but I don’t remember ever waking up from ever getting bit.  Here they don’t care where on your body to feast, boney, meaty, fatty…white meat tastes plenty good to them no matter where.  I have woken up from bites on my arm, back, toes, side of my foot, fingers, wrist, legs and of course, my ass!  And yes I sleep with a mosquito net but there always seems to be at least one or two that manage to creep in or stay in the net from the night before!  On another note, I can’t say exactly where I am on my blog here in Guyana but let me tell you that where we are doing our 2 month training is amazing!  You hear horror stories from current volunteers about there host family and even some of my fellow trainees about there current host family yet I have to say that I get along with my host family like salt with pepper.  I do yoga at 6 AM, (while the sunrises) 3 days a week with my Host Uncle.  In America, my host uncle would be a rare breed.  He is a well built older man, around 6 ft, 230 and can do the splits, put his head between his legs, and many other amazing poses and balances that you would only see a scrawny 104 pound man do in the States.  The other 3 days are left I am left to devise the workout and I most say that he holds his own, keeps up and does all the exercises while never complaining.  There are many people my age who couldn’t keep up, at least not without occasionally laying in the middle of the floor in front of the locker room at the Alaska Club! 

So far since I have been here I have been able to be in the schools 3 times and I have taught once.  In the school where I am helping out during training, I haven’t seen one obese child.  I am not saying their diet is that much better, but almost all of these kids stay active.  The school is very limited on supplies.  For instance, they just got their first copy machine a month or two ago.  Now I know it is common for American’s at the work place to swear at, or want to physically destroy the copier because of its ability to screw up, but teachers imagine how different your teaching style would be if you couldn’t print off 30 copies of the practice problems in your teacher’s edition book.  Where I teach, there are only a couple of classrooms that are have four walls.  Otherwise, like in the class I help out in, there is one long, long classroom with 4 different classes/grades in it and the classes are divided by chalk boards.  I do however firmly believe that the lack of resources gives the ability to make a good teacher great because they have to be that much more creative and resourceful.  Of course I think it can also make an otherwise average teacher terrible but so far I have only seen (and my time is limited) hard working teachers who often face (student wise) many of the same problems American teacher’s face.  Literacy being the key issue, and I would say although the problems might be similar, they are in higher number’s per capita here in Guyana then it would be in the states.

This month I got to experience a great holiday and one I hope to bring back to the states in 2 years.  The holiday is Phagwah and is the Hindu celebration of Spring/New Year/Colors/the triumph of good over evil.  Mainly of a day although traditionally the celebration is supposed to take up to a week.  During this holiday, you wakeup, but on clothes you don’t care about getting ruined and grab you colored powder.   People go around and throw buckets of water (in the morning only) and then respectively put the color powder on your face, hug and wish each other a happy Phagwah.   In Guyana they call it playing Phagwah when you go around and do so.   Also, even though this is a Hindu holiday, almost everyone, no matter religion, participates.  In that sense it is similar to Halloween or I might even say Christmas.

Hopefully soon I will have time to put down all the cool and interesting phrases that the Guyanese you here.  We had one day of training that consisted of naming slang words for sex parts and acts.  Out of all the days I should be taking notes, this is definitely a day I did!  Hopefully I will have those up soon cuz those are funny, I don’t care who you are!

Goodbye Alaska

When I moved to Alaska I made the decision one day in the summer of '05 coming home from work, it wasn't something I gave much thought to.  I made up my mind and that was that!  The next day at work I put in my 2 weeks and shortly after my last day, hit the road.  I proceeded to enjoy the next 4 years of my intensely living in Anchorage, Alaska.  During my time there I got to see many beautiful things and learned the difference between cold and, "My God Its Cold." Most importantly, any chump can endure the cold, but the only when a chump is surrounded by great people and welcoming friends can he survive the, "My God its Cold!" and all the darkness in the winter.  Rarely did I ever find myself homesick in Alaska because there was always a welcoming family willing to take me in for the holidays or sometimes just because.  I am still in disbelief that I have left, maybe that is a good sign that I will return because when I said goodbye to people it felt as if I would be seeing them the next week instead of what I was telling people, "ummmm, maybe in 2 years?"  I have never befriended so many great people as the time I spent in Alaska.  If anyone reading this has ever wanted to go, I encourage you greatly, but don't just go and do the tourist thing where you get shuffled around like cattle from site to site.  Let yourself get to know the people, try going for a month, but be careful, if you stay there to long you might find yourself not wanting to leave!

Saying Good Byes #1 (Denver, Colorado)

From about the 20th to the 28th I travelled down to Denver to see my older brother, my beautiful niece and as many good-ol' college buddies as I could meet up with.  Nathan was an amazing host and very accommodating to all my needs.  He picked me up from the airport as well as dropped me off.  He gave me a bed to sleep on the entire time I stayed at his house, he also provided me with food and some of history's best ever games on NCDubs not counting the series biggest blowout a 21 point stomping done by me on Nathan's weak skillz, (NCAA 2009, College Football on XBox for those of you that are unfamiliar.)   Nathan also drove me to the other side of Denver so that I could spend time with my brother.  To try and repay Nathan I have made him many meals for when he came home, bought him 3 bags of sour patch kids (the first bag was totally unacceptable so I bought him 2 more), and of course, put the dirty dishes on the counter and absolutely not in the sink.  I owe Nathan a lot for his great hospitality, but for now I would like to tell Nathan, BIG UPPPS!  RESPECT!  And of course, Much Love.  

One of the things Nathan and I did while  I was in town was drive to Aspen/Glenwood to meet up with our old college buddies and go watch the X Games.  Traffic prevented us from being able to make it out to the X Games Friday but it didn't prevent us from going out Friday night in Glenwood where we were staying at our friend Jaime's house.  Jaime was a great host as well but boy was his house crowded.  There was 5 of us staying at his house, 6 including Jaime.  Out of the 6 staying there, there was one girl (Stephanie, Tim's wife, and one of my first friends at college, yay Cornado hall!)  All I have to say is poor, poor Steph.  She is a saint for surviving putting up with 5 idiot men for 2 whole days.  Thinking about it now, if you counted up all the farts between us in 2 days then I would say on average there was at least one person farting every 5 minutes.  Also, Jaime only had one toilet...One toilet for 6 

people, 5 of which filled up on Beer and 3AM 7-11 burritos, spicy cheetos and bean dip.  Needless to say I am pretty sure that someone was always someone waiting to use the bathroom. 

Once the trip was all said and done I had a blast.  I wish I could have seen more of my brother and niece but circumstances did not really allow it but beggars can't be choosers and I will take the night I got to spend with them versus not seeing them at all.  It's already been 2 summers since I had last seen my niece Emily and 4 years would be way too long!  Not too mention, my brother is a great cook and I have a goal to eat as much great food in my life as I can!  Now that I am done in Denver, I have to packup/give away everything that I own and leave Anchorage! Things are starting to pickup and everyday things are starting to click, however I still don't realize that I will be in a different continent in less then a month. 

Still waiting, stewing, kinda ready, kinda not!

A tip of advice to all future PCV's, don't tell people around you that you are leaving for the corps outside of your family and closest friends until at least 2 weeks before you leave.  Otherwise you will be telling the same stories over and over and over about where you are going, giving a B.S. response as to what you will be doing (because I have no clue really!  something with teaching!), hearing from many people how they wish they could do what you are doing (annoying because in most cases they could be).  They will want to know a million detailed things about the country where you are going to serve even though you have probably never been to it.  You will find yourself reciting what you have read on other PCV's blogs, your slightly outdated PC Welcome book, Wikipedia or what you have heard from you recruiter or whomever else.  You will be praised as a great person for your sacrifice, even though you haven't done anything yet! Don’t get me wrong, part of my reason in doing the Peace Corps is to try to do some good in this world.  However, if my main intention was to do good things, I don’t have to travel across the world to start doing it!  I understand what people mean about the whole process and I thank them for their compliments and yes I do agree that the Peace Corps has great intentions and hopefully after I served my two years I will have had made a positive difference, I just don’t think what myself and however many other PCV’s are doing is that big of a sacrifice.  I think if more people thought that it wasn’t such a big deal or sacrifice, maybe we could get more people to do it!  

The past 3-4 weeks in Alaska has been the coldest I have ever experienced in the 4 years I have lived here.  We had 3 weeks of sub-zero temperatures, I think our high might have been like 4 degrees.  Yesterday the temp hit 22*!!!  22 felt like a freaking heat wave, not once did my nostril hairs freeze! Knowing that soon I will be in tropical temperatures has helped keep me warm, even though I know I will be bitching about the heat, humidity and hairy insects crawling everywhere around me  here shortly!

Waiting....11/25/08

Within the last 2 weeks I have been informed by the Peace Corps that I will be stationed in Guyana!  For those of you who don't know where that is, do not feel foolish, because most people from the US have no clue!  So let me start with, Guyana is located at the top of South America, it is north of Brazil, East of Venezuela and west of Suriname.  To the north is the Atlantic Ocean and the country is largely made of dense Rain Forest and rivers from what I have read or assumed by looking at maps!  I leave for Guyana, February 22nd, which means from here to then I have to rid myself of all material items that I can't fly with me!  So no more, Xbox360, TV, Desktop, car, winter clothes and whatever else I can't think of right now!  February, 2008 will probably be the last time in 2 years that I see snow, which is okay with me right now because I have lived in Alaska the past 4 years!  Soooo I am more than willing to embrace the warm, humid tropical weather, at least until I see a nest of scorpions fighting gigantic spiders outside my mosquito netted bed!  Until then, yeaaaa warm hot weather!  That's all for now,

Dave Welanko