One Hell of a Crazy Month

Before I get started on my usual light hearted sarcasms I would like to take a moment and discuss something serious. This past month I had a good college friend seriously hospitalized. Justin Gabriel has been in a coma for close to a month and is fighting serious odds to ever wakeup. If you know JJ, you know it would be just like him to be the type to overcome these heavy odds just so he can have a crazy story to laugh about years from now. I am not a religious person but my thoughts are with you Justin and I hope and have faith in whatever higher being that maybe out there that will allow you to wakeup. And after you wakeup, and I come back from Guyana, I can’t wait for the many more nights we will jam out in a car with the music and our voices blaring too loud. Whether you know Justin are not, you should say a prayer for him, please check out his site to that explains his situation and how he is recovering. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/justingabriel/guestbook/sign

I should have known September was going to be a crazy, crazy month when I sitting on my toilet and saw something that looked like snow coming in through my bathroom window. No, no, it was not snow but ashes from a huge brush fire that had broken out across the street. August was very hot and the dry season has been extra long but that didn’t stop one of my neighbors from burning their excess wedding trash in the thick, thick dry brush. The fire spread quickly and grew very tall and wasn’t too far from over taking some houses when the fire department showed up and put it out. With the fire out, I figured the craziness was done but what arose from the ashes was my very first Guyanese female admirer or in American culture what we would more commonly refer to as a phone stalker. This person, whom I barely knew, and didn’t give my phone number too, managed to call my cell phone over 50 times and send over 30 texts in the period of 2 days! I guess it is entertaining now that it is all said and done but at the time geeeeeeeeesssssssh!

Shortly after the fire and during the phone stalker fiasco, I was hanging out at a friends house out of site. During the visit, they’re site got something that my location had been very short of—rain! My friend’s place has a aluminum roof which, can be relaxing and therapeutic during a down pour. However, I learned a tin roof can also be electrically stimulating during a thunder storm. As we were watching a movie, we witnessed a bright flash of light simultaneously paired with a loud, gun shot like BANG! That’s right, their tin roof had just been struck by lightening!

With all that excitement underway I took off to Georgetown to sadly say goodbye to one of my closest friends in Guy21. Yes, Guy21 has lost another member. This makes it 6 total now that have left. Hopefully Krystal will be the last to leave, because as the days go on you get closer and closer with the PCV’s you are surrounded by as they become your crutches of sanity while living in a different culture.

While I was in Georgetown, saying my goodbyes to Krystal, I happened to check my blog to see if I had any new comments on my last blog post. I had a few, but the one that caught my eye the most was the one left by the Anchorage District Attorney requesting that I contact him.

2 years ago, I was working the door at the bar F Street Station when I witnessed an altercation in the alley. I have to give the condensed version, but I saw two males beating another male with a baseball bat, plastic broom stick and some other instrument, whose purpose is not to whack living things with. I quickly called the police while I was witnessing the attack. I stood frozen in my tracks with fear and indecision as people (the attackers and those chasing them away from the victim) started to stampede my way. I was able to tackle one of the attackers before he entered the bar. As interesting of a story as it might be, I would trade the ability to tell the story for the victim’s life in a heart beat. The victim would die a few days later from hemorrhaging and swelling of the brain. Shortly after this night I testified in front of a grand jury and helped make sure the attacker, I apprehended, would be indicted and tried in a court of law. The DA told me then that murder trials often take 2-3 years to go to trial and that I could be living as far away as Florida when this goes to trial and they will still have to fly me up to testify in this trial. Little did he know, I would be living in Guyana, South America.

As the DA and I discussed when I would fly up to testify, it was clear there might be a scheduling conflict. Since before I had joined the Peace Corps, my good friend from high school had asked me to be one of his groomsmen. Every time I passed another step, in the many that come with joining the Peace Corps, I always asked if I would be able to attend the wedding. Well now my trip home for Bret’s wedding was being cut short, but thankfully not missed. It was arranged for me to be flown up to Anchorage the Sunday after the wedding. What was going to be a quick, busy 8 day trip home , just got a lot busier!

In the mean time, I had about a two weeks to get ready to go home and Anchorage. During that time, several of my closest, “Crutches of Sanity,” had left for the States and wouldn’t be back till the day I left! About the only thing I had to keep me company in the mean time was the phone stalker! However, I stayed strong and pushed on until the day I got to return to hot showers, washing machines, fast food, TV and fast internet!

The wedding was a blast! The church, bride and bridesmaids all looked beautiful. Even us ugly groomsmen and the groom found a way to, “Church It Up,” and look respectable for a about 12 hours. I enjoyed all the festivities immensely! The church was impressively lavish and had tall ceilings, which were beautifully decorated and kept me entertained during the wedding rehearsal when I couldn’t figure out if I was supposed to be paying attention or not. After the vows were exchanged and the I do’s done and the kisses kissed we (the wedding party) took off in our limo to Comerica park (where the Detroit Tigers play) and got to go inside the stadium for pictures! After that we arrived at the reception which had great, great food, good fun and free drinks! When you make a grand $200 a month as a Peace Corps volunteer, you can’t really ask for a better night! Way to go Bret and Mandy!

Oh yea, although it isn’t really conventional, when Mandy threw the bouquet to all the single ladies, she severely overthrow them! The bouquet went flying over their heads and crashing on to the wedding party table. As it rolled and knocked over glasses and what not, I was the closest and grabbed it to keep it from knocking over anymore glasses. I walked up to Mandy, thinking she would re-throw the it, but the Boss DJ/Wedding host would have none of it. It’s a couple weeks later and I still don’t really know whether to be excited or really, really scared about the whole catching the bouquet thing.

The next morning, which was a very early morning after a very long night, I was off to the airport and to testify in the murder trial. Being back in Anchorage was great minus the circumstances, because I didn’t think I would make it back until I was done serving my 2 years. I made sure I ate at all of my favorite restaurants and visited as many friends as I possibly could without having a car or cell phone. People kept asking me if I was nervous for the trial and I never really was. While I was waiting outside the courtroom, I still wasn’t nervous, I was busy listening to music and playing solitaire on my IPOD. However, when I was called into the court room and sat waiting, while the jury came back from recess I made eye contact with the defendant. I hadn’t seen him for two years, two years to the day to be exact. And although I only sat a minute before I was called to the stand, I felt my nerves jump a little. Once on the stand I was fine. My only wish is that I could have remembered more details from the incident two years ago. It was almost like taking a test because once I left the stand, more details started to come to me and I really wanted a redo! Well hopefully this was a interesting enough blog.

Now that September is done I want to confess, I am really hoping for a very uneventful October! I have had enough fun and excitement for a year, let alone 1 month! Finishing this months update I want to thank all those who took the time to read. Keep leaving comments on my blog, I love to read them. And congrats to the people who have recently found out they will be coming to Guyana in February 2010. I hope my blog in some ways helps prepare you for your next two years! Can’t wait to meet you!

Pics and Pics

So everyone has been bitching that I don't have any pics but they take forever to load when I am in Guyana so I have tried to find time to load some while I am up in the states. The monkeys are the howler monkeys I wrote about.

a

July and August updates

I have been in Guyana now for almost exactly 6 months, this is roughly ¼ of my total time served. For 6 months I have encountered many new things but more importantly I have been without one particular thing. This one thing, can be found almost anywhere in the States and somehow managed to sneak its way into this beautiful country and now poses it a sneaking danger. No, I am not talking about racism, prejudices, greed, or even those annoying pyramid schemes. No, the evil I speak of is far greater, so great that I usually choose not to mention it. But yes, to end the suspense, Country Music has managed to sneak its way down to Guyana. I was riding in a taxi on a Sunday and there was some kind of billboard top 20 on the radio and although the show had a British announcer and considering my circumstances had no reason to suspect what was coming next but it didn’t take long for that twang to grab my ears and twist. Now, I might be a harsh critic of country music but I have to say, since I heard that song, I have experienced my hottest month in Guyana. It has been soooo hot here since the end of July, and so far all of August. How hot is it? I don’t know because I have never see a thermometer here but I would guess with humidity included, 95* F everyday from about 10:00AM to about 4:00PM, give or take 5 degrees. It has been so hot this past 30 or so days that a few Guyanese have mentioned to myself that this is the hottest August that they have ever experienced or the hottest that they can remember in years. I am not saying that country music is to blame for global warming but I wonder if it is not a contributing factor seeing how modern country music (at least the past 20 years or so) has been produced and forged by music CEO’s high on the devils wine. Again, I am not saying that country music is directly related to global warming or this latest heat wave, but I am saying that President Obama should look into it.
A few sentences ago I mentioned taxis and I find them to be an interesting subject here in Guyana. If you catch a cab in Georgetown, you probably won’t find the experience to be all that different. Once you get used to the lack of stop signs and driving on the left side of the road, you realize that these drivers are as aggressive as taxi drivers in any major city. However, where I live there are some nuances that can throw you off. First of all, cabs where I live charge by the person because they drive up and down a main road picking up and dropping people off. Secondly, there really isn’t a standard cab fee. A short drop is generally $60 (Guyanese, roughly 30 cents American), but who decides what constitutes a short drop is up to each individual driver. Essentially, you could take a cab to the same place 5 days in a row and receive 5 different quotes from 5 different drivers. Sometimes they quote you really high because they think you are a tourist and don’t know better, sometimes it’s because (at least in my case) you are white and they think you have money, sometimes it’s because of both and sometimes it’s simply because they need money and will try to get the most out of you that they can no matter who you are. The idea is to have the correct change and without much argument they will always take what you offer. Also, the price of the taxis might seem like a waste of haggling but you must remember I only get paid $200 American a month and half of that goes to food and drink so that leaves you with pretty much $100 for 30 days of travel and most rides are not 30 cent (American) rides. Guyana is a former English colony, and like most former English colonies, drive on the left side of the road. Where I live, the drivers often drive on whatever side of the road they choose to. Often the yellow line in the middle of the road has no real purpose. Also, the most unique thing about the taxis where I live is that in most cars, pressing on the gas is the only way to activate the brakes. For example, usually you tell your driver where you want to be dropped off when you get within 20-40 ft of your destination. What I would be used to, is a driver who prepared himself to stop by letting off the gas and slowly applying the brakes. Here however, the driver will quickly accelerate to your POD even if this includes passing the next car, only to stop in front of that same driver within thirty seconds. Also, if a curve is coming up that would require the driver to slow down, I have frequently experienced a driver who will quickly accelerate to get around the next driver before the bend and of course quickly slam on his brakes so that he doesn’t go flying off the road. From almost daily experiences like this I have come to two conclusions. The first is that brake pads grow on trees here and the other deduction I made is the one I have previously mentioned, pressing on the accelerator is the only way activate the brakes.
In other news, the month of August is almost over and the past week or so has been very, very busy. About a week ago I had my birthday and had fajita night at my house and of course made the best Guacamole ever made by a white bai in Guyana. The next night I went to my neighbor’s Hindu wedding. Hindu weddings here often last many days and in most cases, that means many days of drinking and being a white person at these weddings means all of the men will at one point offer you a drink of Rum or Vodka. Someone told me their really isn’t supposed to be drinking at the weddings but I have yet to see or hear of one where anyone bothers to follow that rule.
The following day a lot of PCV’s from all over got together to go to Regatta at Lake Mainstay. Regatta is a boat race and an estimated 2 thousand people come out to watch it. The boat races are fun but in most cases it is just people walking around drinking or as they would say here, “Sporting.” Some people drink more than others and unfortunately some people who drink more then others decide to drive. Around 8PM, when we were getting ready to leave we noticed a car driving on the beach take a right turn and crash into a banob (it’s like a Gazebo with Palm trees.) To further prove one of my early points, right before the driver crashed into the banob, he hit the accelerator, causing him to run into it about 5-10 mph faster or so. Clearly having to accelerate in order to activate the brakes has its drawbacks! Thankfully no one was hurt. The driver quickly stumbled out of the totaled car after realizing that he couldn’t drive any further through the banob. Most surprisingly, although his car was totaled, the banob stood strong and only lost a little bit of paint. Two days later the paper had no mention of the car accident but it did have a picture of my pretty face in it as well as 3 other volunteers with a caption that read, “These tourists are having a rollicking good time at Regatta.”
A couple days later, myself and many of the PCV’s who came around for Regatta had a peer education conference at the same lake resort. The conference was as exciting as a conference/workshop can be but the 3 days in AC and visiting with friends made it very much worth it. During these few days we celebrated my friend Tyler’s birthday and played lots of trivial pursuit. So much so, that it was decided we would have a Trivial Pursuit challenge to help pass the time of conference. 10 people played and another PCV picked at random 12 questions, two from each TP subject. We also had everyone throw in $100 Guyanese. When it was all said and done, it never felt so good to be a dumb jock amongst soooo many smart people. That’s right, yours truly one the competition and the prize money!
One wedding and yet another PCV birthday party and my eventful yet tiring week had come to an end. Summer’s can be very slow in Guyana until they find reasons to put PCV’s together, then we stay pretty occupied. I would say that minus the birthdays, the same thing happened in July when Guy20 and my group, Guy21, had to meet up in Georgetown for a semi joint session. During that conference the coolest thing that happened was probably that we got to have a BBQ at the Ambassadors house. What made it so memorable was all the American food! I made my self a double cheeseburger and enjoyed a real salad and chicken wings!
Oh and before I forget, my mother wants me to mention how you buy chicken when you are on the coast. You go to any house that has a sign, fresh plucked chickens and you tell them you need a chicken and how much. The guy tells you to come back the next day or in a few hours and you have a freshly killed, plucked and gutted chicken. I was at a friend’s host parents the other day and they were clearing the hen house. They had a total of 63 chickens and were sending them all to market the following Monday. I sat and gaffed for about an hour or so and watched over 20 chickens without heads jump around, sometimes 3 feet off the ground. Is it bad that I was so entertained by headless chickens frolicking around? Maybe but more importantly it sure was fun to watch!

I am still alive and kicking!

Imagine if you will, it is roughly 5 AM and you open your eyes after being asleep.  Laying in the hammock your first reaction is to find the sheet.  You are cold, but not cold because it is necessarily cold out.  It’s just one of those early morning shivers that make you want to cocoon yourself.  Through the window you can see the sun has started to rise, but it is still isn’t light out.  It takes a couple of seconds for you to figure out where you are but you come to and know you are in the jungle of Guyana at a fellow PCV’s house.  It was one of those mornings when it seems as if all your senses have to reboot before you fully reenter reality.  Sense of touch….Check.  Sight…Check.  Smell…check.  Sound…check again later.  Taste…Morning breath, check. Sound…Error.  Error.  Error.   You’re thinking, “Oh what the hell is going on, what is that sound? Am I dreaming?  Did someone punch me in my ear?  Is someone still punching me in my ear?  Am I dreaming that someone is punching me in ear?”  But you are awake and there is no one punching you in the ear, but something is definitely attacking my brain’s ability to comprehend. The sound you are hearing is not that screaming-chirp-like beetle you heard the other day that sounds like someone playing two notes on an electric synthesizer whose keys get stuck down sometimes. It’s not crickets, it’s not a bird, you don’t think it’s a plane and you are pretty damn sure it is not Superman.  It sounds as if a upset generator is trying to drown a man not in liquid but in the vibratious of its own humming, (no vibratious is not a word, I just made it up).  The very loud humming noise peppered with grunts goes on for about 20 minutes before the hum noise decrescendos and the chaotic noise finally ends with a few last grunts.  After that you are back to the noises you have come to expect from Guyana at five in the morning.

This is the story of how I was introduced to the Howling Monkey.  What I heard from my fellow PCV’s later that morning after I had re-awoken naturally, is that they are very territorial and the noises they made, the loud humming with grunts was them claiming their territory.  These howling monkeys are like nothing I have ever heard.  I saw a few of them high in the trees about a hundred yards away the next day.  Howling monkeys really aren’t that big—not tiny either, I guess they are an average monkey size?  Either way, their body size doesn’t match the volume of the loud noise they produce.  Goggle these things, see if you can hear the racket they make…At 5 AM. 

So this was just one of many great and interesting things that happened to me when I spent a few nights in the jungle, in a Amerindian village.  The village is about two hours away from where I am and you have to travel their by speed boat.  I went to the village to do a two day workshop on sexual education.  Some of the subjects we covered were: STI’s, sexual anatomy, domestic abuse, condom/birth control, gender assumptions and sexual assault.  The workshop went well, we had about 7-10 people, all girls, ages ranging from 15-22.

Originally I had only intended on staying in the village until Saturday morning but changed my mind because the village is pretty, you see a lot of cool stuff and there and the PCV’s who hosted me are great hosts!  While I was their we had pizza, a really savory tasting soup one nigh, and a type of Alfredo pasta another.  When I was invited to stay an extra day, it was an offer I couldn’t refuse.  Saturday morning, I had eggs Benedict.  Okay so we didn’t have ham but we did have a can of Spam and it was the first time trying it so the whole meal was exciting and delicious.  However exciting having eggs Benedict, Spam style is, it was just one the highlights out of many that happened Saturday. 

The next occurred when one of the PCV’s I was staying with asked if I was, “Crafty” and if I could fix her dresser drawer.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am not exactly the worlds greatest handyman—I’m not even the worlds most average handyman.  Yet, where there is a will there is a way and more importantly, where there is a roll of duct tape there is most certainly a way and we fixed the drawer!   

The grand finale takes a little setup to tell.  There are a handful of British and Canadian volunteers in this village and it was one of their birthdays.  For their birthday they decided to have a “Bush Cook” in the back of where I was staying.  We had to have a fire because the sun sets at about 6:30 and there aren’t any porch lights around.  So, consequently, pyro Dave got his first introduction to Guyana.  First I had to dig a fire pit, but we didn’t have a shovel so I borrowed a garden hoe and hoed a pit.  After that, I proceeded to collect all the firewood with the help from 2 of the neighbors, Timmo and Johnny.  Timmo is about 5 and I am guessing Johnny is about 3.  After the firewood was collected and we were filthy (some of the wood we picked up was from an old burn pile down the road).  I got the fire going and after a while the fire was good and ready to barbeque some chicken.  I proceeded to grill the chicken over the open fire and I don’t want to toot my horn but toot toot, boop-boop-bedo, the chicken was delicious!  Kudos to the marinade the Brits used as well.  After that it was just a good time gaffin on a full stomach, sipping on a few bottles of Banks and what not.

Overall, everything so far is going fine.  For the past 2 months I have been going to 6 secondary schools in my area doing junior youth groups.  Basically for an hour to an and a half I am working with different classes on ways they can “Express” themselves.  The ages of the classes I work with, is about 12-15 (depending on the class.)  What I do with the class depends on the skill level of the class I am working with.  With a few of the classes, new vocabulary words, 5 minute free-writes, I also give them basic and abstracts shapes that I make them turn into things through drawing.  We also talk about virtues/morals and what they mean to society as well as what they mean to us. 

Some of the classes we are strictly working on basic literacy skills because some of the kids are 12, 13 , 14 and reading a 5 or 6 year old reading level.  My personal goals when I do these is to get the kids to think for themselves.  You see a lot of what they call, “Chalk and Talk” in Guyana.  The students here are more trained to take down and copy, or listen and copy.  There aren’t, at least from what I have seen, too many coactive sessions.  My other goal is to try to make the English language an exciting topic so that maybe my enthusiasm can rub off on a couple of them and get them writing, reading or speaking more.

Through another organization I help with, we do an afterschool tutoring session two days a week for about an hour, hour and a half.  There are about 10-15 kids who come to this and the ages range from about 6-12.  I work with the older kids and mostly we do math.  For the past week we have been working on rounding 1-4 digit numbers, long division and multiplying bigger numbers.  I have to tell you, when one of the kids gets three answers right after just not “Getting it” the previous two weeks, fireworks go off, howling monkeys cease to howl, Crappos (Creolese for Toads) appear out of nowhere with top hats, tuxedos, canes and do their best impersonation of the Warner Brother’s Frog.  It is a great feeling, even if they come back the next week and get them all wrong.  That just means you get to see dancing crappos all over again.  The spreading of knowledge can be a very addictive feeling, if you have never tried it you should. 

On another note I want to give a shout out to some people.  During the first month of training, we had 4 volunteers go home.  They all went home for different reasons non of which I will mention but it tears at you a little. People I spent 8 sometimes miserable hours a day, 5 times a week for 3 months in a hot Pink Church during training with.  People who I grabbed a drink with on the sea wall.  All of whom were my closest link to family, friends, or anything that can be closely related to home or American.  You hope the best for them but are still a little sad about them leaving, no matter what the reason and I wish them all the best of luck.

New Updates

Hello world! On my last post I wrote how although the posts were written on different dates that they were posted on the same day and well the same goes here! But I found out where I am getting placed and the good news is that was one of my top sites! “So Dave, where are they placing you?” You might be asking and to answer the question is that I can’t tell. Despite the many people who might have no care in the world where I might be, I still can’t advertise to the world wide web where I will am! I will tell you this though, it is somewhere in Guyana…. That’s all.

You might wondering what I will be doing, and I will tell you that I will be helping out teaching literacy to 16-25 year olds and hopefully working for a couple of NGO’s. That is Non-Government-Organization for those of you out of the loop, which is most. On another note, I haven’t had a cell phone for 2 months and it was a great feeling but that is shortly to come to an end and I will be getting a Guyanese Cell Phone. This means that it is free for me, you all who want to call me, and of course it will cost whoever calls me. Also, I can send text messages but I think you can only text me back if you have AT&T but not sure. So I don’t think that this has been too entertaining of a post because I am happy with my selection and have no real venting to do or at least any that I want to do in front of the entire world but have no fear I came up with an alternate plan.

Here in Guyana, water heaters are rare. Hell to be honest, showers are rare too but having a water heater is almost unheard of. Many people here take what they call bucket showers and have a shower type place where they do so. Now the point I am getting to here is that unless your water tank is directly under the sun, and you take a shower during the hot afternoon, the water temp is always somewhere between cold and lukewarm/not-so-cold. Well I want to make some lemonade Damn it! So here it is:

Advantages for taking cold showers

1. You spend much less time in the shower when the water is cold so it takes less time to get ready.
2. When you get out of the shower and have to get ready, you never have to wait for the steam to dry off the mirror!
3. You know how it sucks when someone flushes the toilet, runs the dishwasher/washing machine while you are taking the shower and all goes to really hot/cold hell water…No water heater, no problem!
4. If I had more cold showers in Middle/High School, I probably could had done a lot more productive things with my time…
5. Currently as a PCV long out of high school, the cold shower is letting me be much more productive with my time!
6. The cold shower gives you a much better appreciation for things you have at home.
7. Because your showers are shorter, you are saving water and therefore doing your part to help save the world by taking cold showers.
8. It really helps you work on controlling your breathing because sometimes when the water is cold you kind of hyperventilate but if you can get it under control you kind of have a mental transformation, some Buddha like stuff so yea, cold showers can be enlightening.
9. The cold water wakes you up therefore you don’t really need that cup of coffee in the morning.
10. If you are drinking less coffee in the morning, that means you are saving coffee, which means you will need to buy less which means you are saving money! Cold Showers make you thrifty. (Although not really for me because I don’t drink coffee.)